Platform

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.

Policies

• The legality of trick-or-treating will be left to the states in order to increase rates of observation of the Great Pumpkin’s rising on Halloween night. States that do observe trick-or-treating will only be permitted to hand out rocks.


• The military uniform will be changed (pictured below) in order to increase discipline and consistency as well as invoke genuine passion for their service.


• ZIP codes will immediately be removed as to decrease the federal government’s ability to further divide and control the people.


• Immediate mass-deportation of those with peanut allergies will take place.


• American football will be replaced with Fall Ball which consists of players running toward a ball that is then yanked away, causing them to fall. This change will increase funding for American sports companies and place an emphasis on engaging in media because it provides a more engaging an entertaining sport.